iMatt :: The Blog of Matt Clare

I seem to get Darth Vador impersonations into my blog a lot……

A few weeks ago after Belinda Stronach (a Canadian Tory politician that’s been the least right-wing-nut of the bunch) crossed the floor to join the Liberal party to ensure that a confidence vote would pass and Canada wouldn’t have another federal election within a year of it’s last one.

It was quite the juciey political story, attractive young politician (a story in itself in the Conservative party,) romantically linked to the deputy leader of the party (Peter McCay), defects to a cabinet position in the ruling party and crushes her ex-party’s plans for over throwing the government.

Belinda Stronach effectivly created the new Conservative party by acting as a go between for the old PC/Tory party and the Reform/Alliance party which looked as though they could never merge and be a credible alternative to the Liberal rule of Canada. Then she left her job as CEO of Magna International to run for the leadership of the party, a real working-your-way-up-from-the-top career path.

Apparently, morally conflicted, but perhaps just part of that career path, she was forced to join the Liberal party that her father Frank Stronach had actually ran (and lost) as a few decades ago and Belinda had spent two years vilifying.

The morning after the CBC Radio show “The Current,” which always opens with it’s James Earl Jones-like announcer known as “The Voice” giving a cheeky two minute bit, tempted Belinda to “The Liberal Side”. It was comedic genius and my sides literally hurt after I heard it. I’ve since recounted it poorly, so I thought I’d share the transcript — please try your best to read the following in character (reprinted from “The Current”, CBC Radio, May 18, 2005 – with attribution, but not permission:)

Better yet, listen to the broadcast here (Realaudio): www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/media/200505/20050518thecurrent_sec1.ram

VOICE: (Darth Vader breathing) Belinda, Belinda … why do you fight the Liberals?

BELINDA: Because I’m a Conservative, because the Liberals are corrupt, because we need fiscal responsibility….

VOICE: (DV breathing) Scott Brison fought bravely for the Conservatives. But only the Liberals could give him power.

BELINDA: But I’m here to serve Canadians, not just grab power….

VOICE: (DV breathing) Don’t be a fool! Your leader claims virtue and integrity, but he stands in your way. Come to the Liberal side, and a cabinet post awaits you. Lucienne Robillard has displeased me, anyway.

BELINDA: Your offer of power is tempting … and yet power corrupts.

VOICE: (DV Breathing) It is your destiny.

BELINDA: I represent a strong voice for women in politics, and I’ll determine my own destiny.

VOICE: (DV Breathing) Belinda, join me on the Liberal side, and together we shall rule the country.

BELINDA: (Defiantly) No.

VOICE: (DV Breathing) Belinda, I am your father.

BELINDA: (Pause) Dad? What’s with the black cape?

VOICE: (Breathing stops. Speaks in casual non-Vader voice) It’s my new power suit. Very intimidating in the Magna boardroom.

BELINDA: All right, all right. I’ll join your party. But only to bring strength and stability to the government.

VOICE: YESSS!! (Pause…Breathing begins again and use Vader voice until the end) Now, there is another … he is close to Belinda … a Conservative, yet the centre is strong with him … If we bring him to the Liberal side, the red tories shall take their revenge. (Vader-style breathing) Peter … Peter …

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 1st, 2005 at 13:36 and is filed under General, Headlines: True, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.