The Darth Side

Tue May 10 14:50:10 2005 EDT (-0400 GMT)

I don’t know if you’ve seen it already, but if you haven’t, you must check out The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster – Darth Vader’s blog. It’s actually a Canadian comedian, and not only are the posts great but the responces to comments are gerat too!

Here’s part of the post It’s Christmas On Hoth

“Admiral Ozzol took the fleet out of hyerspace too close to Hoth, and the Rebel Alliance were — you guessed it — alerted to our approach. The cornerstone of Ozzel’s arrogance is his insistence that rebel technology is so vastly inferior to Imperial technology that we need broker no caution……

“Ozzel just isn’t the creative type.

The problem is solved now, however. I crushed his trachea with my mind, and promoted Piett to command the fleet. I have transmitted to following note to Ozzel’s kin:

Dear House of Ozzel,

I regret to inform you that your son has been killed in the line of duty.

He was an incompetent, yammering boob and he will be missed by none. I have allowed the men to pillage his personal belongings, which is why we have enclosed nothing but the sole remaining item: a torn advertisements page from a magazine of midget pornography. May it shock and disturb you, and may you think of it always when you remember your dearly departed son, the ninny.

Know also that his limitations as a sub-par military professional caused the deaths of many of the Emperor’s loyal soldiers, whose funeral expenses will appear on your next tax assessment.

D. Vader

Too harsh? I call them as I see them.

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